by on April 18, 2017 in poetry

If only it were as simple as you keep saying it is

Simple: adjective, easy to comprehend, presenting no difficulty

Simple, like directions to your apartment-
Take the 1 train to 110th
Walk 3 blocks to 107th
Take a right
Ring the bell

But the direction we have taken seems so complex –
Take my hand on Christopher St
Kiss me for 5 minutes on Bleeker
Tell me you’re sorry
Walk away

Simple: adjective, easy to use

Simple like a recipe –
Add flour
Add water
Remove lumps.
Stir until smooth.
Bake at 375 degrees.

But what are the simple steps to extract myself from loving you?

Add disinterest
Add detachment
Remove any remnants of feeling
Put (heart) in refrigerator until completely chilled and hard
Leave in the bottom shelf,
Closed off,

Simple: adjective, not elaborate or artificial; plain

Plain, like that piece of white bread you ate on our video chat the day after we first met
Plain, like the unadorned, off white walls of your small, boxy apartment

But there is nothing plain about us, about you, or me

Unless you call the vivid, wild hurricane of sparks when we look at one another plain.
The deep, ferocious feelings that engulf my senses
my mind and body
when you kiss me,
The powerful tsunami
of feelings that wash over both of us and always leave us
in the end
spent and exhausted, our bodies curled up together
shielding ourselves from one another and also the world outside
the world that always invades us in the morning
reminding us that we are not meant to last

If only it were that simple

To wake up and retrace those easy steps
Turn left
Take the 1 back downtown
Leaving any trace of you there on the Upper West Side

If only it were that simple

But if it truly is, dearest, my heart can’t seem to understand

Simple : adjective – occurring or considered alone

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